Thoughts

When I Can’t Fix It.

The last couple weeks have been hard. I went to a 15 year old’s funeral last week. He collapsed while he was playing basketball… playing basketball. A kid who was an excellent athlete, loved by so many, fun and respectful, gone way too soon. It doesn’t make sense.

I wish this was the only thing that happened, but you know that saying, when it rains, it pours? It’s been pouring lately.

I’m a fixer. I love being able to put things back the way they should be. I love helping other people figure things out. I thrive in harmony and when things are the way they should be.

The last couple weeks have been full of things I can’t fix and I hate it. I can’t tell our students that their friend is coming back. I can’t get rid of the cancer filling my friend’s body. I can’t fix any of it and it sucks.

Things are broken. The world is broken. Sometimes we have to sit among the broken things and realize we can’t fix it. We have to sit among the situations that don’t make sense.

We can’t explain away the death of a 15 year old. We can’t explain away cancer. Honestly, when we try, we can do a lot more harm then good.

I’ve realized the only thing I can do is pray and be there. I don’t have any answers, I don’t always know the right things to say, I don’t have the ability to fix things, but I can be there. I’ve realized that sometimes I can get so caught up in trying to fix things and figure out solutions that I miss what I should really be doing…showing up and being present because sometimes things aren’t fixable and all you can do is be there with the answers of this doesn’t make sense, but you’re not alone.

(After I wrote this I came upon a post that had perfect timing by Heather Plett about what it means to “hold space” for people and it’s great…you can read it here)

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